2017 Yonex National Championships. 

This year was probably one of the weakest years in terms of draw depth in Mens Singles since I first went to Sr Nationals. It was kind of depressing then for me to lose in quarter finals to an athlete younger than myself. It is humbling too. There was a day when i was that young gun winning things (never a national title) and getting attention. Those days are over. I am now an old guy who works too much, tries to go to school, and as much as he can, trains. The kids say I am old, and the veterans still view me as kid, not yet ready to win. Which is fair, I haven’t won yet. Sometimes it feels like I don’t win anything. Sometimes I wonder why I put every spare minute and every last penny into training and competing. This past year has not been the ideal training time. I worked a lot, and hardly got on court. I did my footwork in the grass, and my intervals on hills in the back country. It’s not exactly professional training. 

I don’t know what is coming next. I don’t know if I will be able to make it to the top. I am getting older by the day, and these kids are better than I am. 

But somehow, I don’t want to quit. In fact I think I am addicted to trying to improve. I think if I had all the opportunities of some of my competition I wouldn’t enjoy it so much. I enjoy fighting for ways to train, and doing things a way no one else has. As far as I know there aren’t any coaches who plan on footwork in the snow in boots and a parka. But if it hasn’t been proven to fail, perhaps it still has a chance to succeed. 

So in the end the question is, do I train to become the best? Or train harder yet because I am training against myself, to become the best me? 

And maybe that is how I will become the best. Or maybe that is how I find out I cannot become the best. But if I end up with the best me, the best badminton player, the best athlete I can become, has my training failed? Have I failed? 

As much as I can, I will walk in the footsteps of those who have gone before me. But as much as they had to carve their own way due to circumstances, so I have to forge my own path ahead using what wisdom is passed down to me. 

Sometimes what we mean to do for other people, ends up helping us most. Maybe it does not help us in the ways we want, or even in the ways we think we need most. That doesn’t mean it is not an opportunity to do what are called to do.  

I have played some tournaments in the past that didn’t seem to fit into my training regimen or to be as valuable in my atheletic pursuits as simply training. But often times these small tournaments are connecting points with the people who put time, effort, and money into me, as well as an opportunity for me to do what I believe is important such as helping amd encouraging the next generation of athletes. 

I recently played the Eastman Open, a very small tournament, and had a blast. I got to meet and talk to a lot of fantastic people, as well as play doubles with a good friend, and talk to a bunch of kids I had coached at various camps. I can’t say there was much competition , or that it was amazing preparation for National Championships, but it was a great opportunity. 

I am now at the 2017 National Championships. I just finished my practice for today and I am trying to prepare for my game tomorrow. Another step in the journey, and I guess we will find out just how far I have come. Or what needs to come next.